The Story Of Spicy McHaggis

This is adropkick murphy's song someone left in my guestbook today and i laughed my ass off so i'll put it in here and immortalise it.


I'll tell you a story, believe me, it's true.
A tale you best hope never happens to you.
Old Spicy McHaggis, how he met his fate.
You I can save, but for him it's too late.

Spicy was big, burly and strong. His pipes were gigantic,
and so was his shlong!
From city to city, running around,
always looking for chicks over four hundred pounds

One day at the pub, a girl caught his eye,
big as a house, just the right size.
the broad was enormous, stacked to the hilt,
Spicy soon noticed a bulge in his kilt.
The piper delieverd his best pick-up line,
thought to himself, "this beast is all mine"
The portly young lady could stand for no more,
grabbed his cojones and went for the door.

They got to her house and dimmed all the lights.
Spicy was in for one hell of a night.
He said that he loved her, he'd always be true.
"But Mr. McHaggis, I've only just met you"

By now he saw double trough his drunken eyes,
neither had looks or appropriate size.
He came to his senses, thought to himself;
"At this time at night, I will find nothing else"
He took of his shirt, She lifted her skirt,
They pulled out his unit and started to play,
she asked for a glove, he gave her a shove,
had baby McHaggis nine months to-the-day.

Three packs a day he'll smoke til' he dies,
Spicy McHaggis, One hell of a guy!